The Movie Meme

1. What was the last movie you went to see? Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith
2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why? Did you see it at the theater, or was it a video/DVD? Monty Python's The Holy Grail. I love it because it makes fun of everything! Whenever I catch myself taking me too seriously, I put it on. I first saw it on video once upon a time...now I have it on DVD.
3. What movie stands out in your mind as the one which made you cry the most? I'm probably wrong about this, but I think it was Beaches. On Golden Pond would be close... ET made me sob as well... hmmm, what movie didn't make me cry mighta been a better question!
4. What is the funniest movie you've seen? What was your favorite part or line from that movie? Shandi and I have Christmas Vacation in common. I love the whole thing... have typed and backspaced several scenes now, just can't choose one. Dogma is up there too... "I just love fucking with the clergy!"
5. Is there a movie which changed your opinion on something? What movie was it? Beverly Hills Cop changed my opinion about police movies...I hated them until I saw that. South Park did the same for crappy animation!
6. What is the worst movie you've ever paid to see at the theater? I don't remember but I imagine it was a sequel. Maybe one of the Rockys.Wait a minute, it was The Blair Witch Project. Did that ever suck!
7. Popcorn? Jujifruits? Licorice? Junior Mints? Nachos? or Raisinettes? Red licorice, but you can't get it here, so it's popcorn.
8. Have you ever been intimate with someone while watching a movie at the theater? What movie was it the last time? (Please don't say Schindler's List!) Are you still with this person? Sadly, no.
9. Have you ever screamed while watching a movie or shouted at the screen? What did you say? I said, AHHHHH!
10. Name your favorite movie soundtrack. Can you remember the part of the movie where your favorite song is played? I don't know why Philadelphia just came into my head, must have another look. I also really loved the music in Leaving Las Vegas, but I don't remember anything specific.

And there you have it ;)

Requiem for a Dream

That I was so able to recall dreams that are terrifying and erotic but can't for the life of me remember in detail an inspirational dream bothers me a little.

After all, it's not as though I've never had one. I've had many dreams that have been inspirational. Great dreams about flying and chasing and discovering great things. About the world being my stage and receiving thunderous applause for jobs well done. But, for some reason I can't seem to grasp the details of any of those dreams. They appear to have been locked away in a corner of my mind that I'm unable to access at the moment.

I imagine that speaks volumes about where I am today. If you've been reading along, you've noted by now that I'm more than a little stuck. If you have any insight or advice, I'd be grateful for it.

Dream On

My scariest dream is one that I also had a very long time ago. It's a recurring nightmare that started sometime between the ages of six and eight. I was fifteen the last time I had it (that I'm aware of, anyway).

It's late afternoon on a summer day. My mother and I are somewhere in the middle of a line of women and girls that stretches as far as I can see in both directions. To my immediate right is a trench is about six feet wide by six feet deep. We are ordered at gunpoint to enter the trench and lay down.

I look up to see men and boys standing on the edge of the trench, looking down at us over what looks like a wooden slat fence. I see my father and brother directly above my mother and myself. They don't appear happy to see us. My mother is holding my hand but it doesn't feel right. Something is missing. I look at her face and watch a tear stream from her eye to her ear.

Another order is given and I realize that the men and boys are lowering the fence by using thick ropes which are tied to the crossbeams. The fence is going to crush us!

I ask my mother, "Mommy are we going to die"?

She responds angrily through her tears, "Don't be so stupid".

I feel the weight of the fence crushing my feet, my knees, my hips, pushing me deeper into the earth. Then, the weight hits my chest. I gasp.

And wake up.

Have You Any Dreams You'd Like to Sell?

In response to Shandi's challenge, here is a small glimpse into my dream life. I can't write them all now, but here's the first:

The first erotic dream I can remember may not be the most erotic I've ever had, but that I can recall it in vivid detail some 25 years later must mean something.

In this dream I was a boy of about 12 or 13. It was a warm spring day. The sky was cloudless and that shade of perfect. The sun kissed my face. I was lying on my back on a path in a meadow. The ground was dry and warm and smelled...well, earthy. The long grass was very soft and very green. My jeans were open only at the zipper, the rest of me was completely clothed.

A woman hovered above me. She was German, with dyed red hair and hideous make up. Bright blue eye shadow, circles of pink blush and very red lips. She seemed very old. I was repulsed by her. And yet I was powerless to speak or try to stop her.

As I looked up at her helplessly she straddled me, her wet softness enveloping me and she began to slide up and down and grind on me a little. I could feel the heat of shame in my face but the sensations in my groin and spreading throughout my body were incredible. And they just kept getting better. She murmured something I couldn't comprehend but which I knew was meant to be encouraging. I closed my eyes and the sensations intensified until I felt I would burst. Which I then did. I came for what seemed an eternity and a nanosecond all rolled into one.

I woke up sated, confused and ashamed with an awareness of the male orgasm that I don't think most women have. What was that, I've often wondered over the years... A dream? A past life memory? Some sort of penis envy working it's way out of my pubescent system?

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Sick and Tired

I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's disgraceful that a woman of my age and apparent good health can feel that bad for this long. It's just wrong. And it has to stop. Now.

I just looked up gall bladder problems on a few alternative health sites. Interestingly, gall bladder trouble is related to resentment....hrmm. Whether that's true or not, I do seem to have both of those things goin' on. I expect it's time to let it go. It, in this case, could be the gall bladder itself.

Does anyone else think it strange that I'm more willing to let go of an organ than an emotion? Jesus, next I'll be auctioning my kidneys! Then again, who'd pay for angst...liver anyone? Perhaps a few eggs?

It Takes Guts

Just thought I'd give you a lil update on the state of my guts. I did the cleanse after all. It was pretty gross and produced satisfactorily disgusting results. Results is the key word here, though. It did work and quite well. The pain under my ribs subsided significantly.

The bloating and gas, however were not shifted. So I caved, coughed up the 40€ (convert that here) and saw the doc who told me that because I've only been in agony a week he won't refer me to a gastroenterologist. Nope. I get to take an over the counter antacid for two more weeks, just to prolong the agony. If that doesn't work, he'll reconsider. Fucker.

So, it looks as though we're back to the original plan of waiting for a crisis and turning up at Accident and Emergency at the hospital. Wish I'd done reconnaissance in A & E while I was an inpatient... at least I'd know when to turn up to avoid the crowds.

In the meantime, I am working on a rant inspired by receiving yet another mass email recounting the "good ole days". My apologies to Buffalo if my ire spilled over into my comment on your blog. I think this will be my first non-familial spew. I hope you aren't disappointed.

In other news, I had a mock examination in preparation for next week's real exam in Business Awareness and Professional Conduct (part of my massage therapy certification for those of you not keeping score at home) and managed a 96. Not too shabby for a girl who didn't study. Then again, it's the same girl who brought home a 3.9GPA from college (that's out of four for you European types) and was met with, "You couldn'ta got that other point one, eh darlin'?" Yeah, thanks Dad.

Stoned

Oh.My.God. There is something very wrong with me. I am bloated up like Elvis before he died. And apparently, I swallowed a balloon full of noxious gas. One that constantly refills itself. It hurts. A lot. I might be dying. Slowly.

I think it's my gall bladder. If you press on my distended pregnant-lookin belly right up near my sternum, you call feel hard lil bally type things. (I know, my use of medical terminology is stunning, isn't it?) Stones, or lymph nodes that have gone into hyperdrive; I'm not sure which. I'm not even sure it matters.

Having no insurance in Ireland means waiting til it's acute and going to the Emergency Department. Last year when I was having a slightly less painful version of this problem I saw a doctor who gave me a prescription for antacids and a painkiller. He said when the first stopped working to start on the second as I'll be waiting around the hospital for a good few hours before being attended to, but that really, there was nothing more he could do for me. And by the way, it's possible for a human to live on bananas and rice forever.

I've read about something called a liver flush, which has apparently been used successfully for centuries but I'm afraid to try it for a couple of reasons. The first thing I'm afraid of is having to drink epsom salts and olive oil. I'm gagging as I type! The second thing that scares me about this is having read one woman's story of trying a liver flush and ending up in the hospital with jaundice and pancreatitis. Surely a lil laser surgery is preferable, no?

So...do I go back to bananas and rice and try to hold it off a little longer, or do I just go nuts and try to bring it on over the weekend and be done with it?

Me first meme

I don't know what's going on with me - perhaps I'm about to die and that is why snippets of my life are flashing back to me when I read the words of others. JL passed the baton on this meme which in turn triggered a memory from many years ago when I belonged to a Venturer Company and we danced around campfires singing silly songs to entertain ourselves and each other.

There was one such song that went, "If I were not a Venturer, the thing that I would be... If I were not a Venturer a...insert occupation here...I would be!" And then a silly description followed. This was sung in sort of a harmony where everyone sang the chorus and then an occupation was added until everyone was singing. Points were added for (in)appropriate gestures and double entendres.

So here ya go, JL...just to be different...

If I were not a blogger, the thing that I would be, If I were not a blogger: A Farmer, that's what I'd be.
Here's a cow,
there's a cow,
here's another -yuck!


If I were not a blogger, the thing that I would be, If I were not a blogger:
A Doctor, that's what I'd be!
Take a pill;
pay my bill!
I'm going golfing!

If I were not a blogger, the thing that I would be,if i were not a blogger:
An actor, that's what I'd be!
Dahling,
dahling,
let's do lunch!

My all-time faves were exterminator (ooh a bug, squish it in the rug, ya!)
and firefighter (jump lady, jump...ooh splat!) which evidently didn't make the list.

I hereby nominate Mike, that Stiggified dude and the one and only Buffalo to meme on...

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

On Wednesday, Shandi wrote Borders Blurt Out which you can find on her blog: http://shandiesthoughts.blogspot.com/ (I know, I know, my links still suck).
Her words triggered a memory of a time when I realized that life as I knew it was ending. I'm not really a poetry kinda girl, but this one by Veronica A. Shoffstall resonated with me, giving me much comfort.

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean security
And you learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeat
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way
Of falling down in midflight;
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns
If you get too much
And so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn.
With every goodbye, you learn.