Lucky Break!

I just got an hour's reprieve. The woman minding the children today had promised them a paddle in her pool. It took a lot longer to fill than she'd anticipated. So she called and asked could she keep them so that they wouldn't be completely disappointed.

Inside I was yelling, "HELL, YES!" but I think I managed to squeak out something like, "Thanks, that's very good of you; I'm here all evening, so bring them around whenever you're ready."

I really don't want it to sound like I don't like my kids or don't want to spend time with them because I do. They are pretty cool kids, generally speaking and we get along fairly well. Which isn't to say I've never quoted Bill Cosby and threatened to kill them and make another set that'll look just like em, but I digress. What I'm trying to say is that I'm finding this merry-go-round of work, school and family a lil challenging lately and I'm grateful for any break in the routine.

There are about a hundred things I should be doing with this bit of found time but I'd be completely out of character if I did any of them since they all start with cleaning something. Besides, tomorrow and the next day will be all about cleaning. First, we're going to clean the house for the Canada Day barbeque we are hosting and then, we'll clean up after it. That oughta do me for a while!

Speaking of satisfying my needs... I need to recreate my favourite links list; it doesn't have to be exact as I was finding some of the old faves a bit... well, old. Please feel free to leave a link; even if I can't always write, I often have a chance to read a few blogs. Someday I might even get it together and put a few on my sidebar.

Out of Touch

So... the computer died. I called a geek to come and fix it. He came. He saw. He took it away to be reformatted. For five days.

It was a challenging week for me. I've known for ages that there's nothing on tv. This week proved it. What a load of shite. Of course, we only get three channels; that can't have helped.

I joined the gym and got the guru there to show me some low impact exercises. So far, I've made friends with the cross trainer. The rowing machine and I aren't sure we're compatible but I'm not too worried about that, I always have the bike to fall back on.

I got my hair cut and coloured. It's pretty funky and oddly enough, I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself. Image is everything!

As usual, at least a million bloggable things happened this week and I can't remember any of them now that I am sitting here staring at this screen.

This morning I gave my massage therapist a massage and she liked it. Hey Mikey!

And now, I must go and check out what you all have been up to!

Mama, I'm comin home....

I'm going home in August. It'll be the first time I set foot on native soil in nearly three years. You'd think I'd be excited. I'm not.

I am not looking forward to being a guest (read homeless) for an entire month with a husband who is obsessive compulsive about tidiness and laundry and two children who are not.

I am not looking forward to seeing my parents who couldn't be arsed to come and see me when I was going through surgery and the subsequent shit that comes with plates and pins in an ankle joint.

I am not looking forward to sitting at a wedding with a nearly complete stranger while my entire nuclear family is in the wedding party. That may sound small, but that's how I feel.

I just agreed to a sleepover for girls and a glass of wine with another mom. I hate being caught by surprise. Dammit!

Commercial Break

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.

"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting."

Apparently, over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.

Sphincters Abound

So, I'm sitting in my friend's car after class tonight, checking out my Avon purchases (urgh - I'm old) when along comes this dog. He's an odd looking fellow, sorta Australian Shepherd gone wrong but I like dogs in general and miss having one, so I paid him a little more attention than I generally would.

He trotted up to the front door of the building that I study in and started to squat. I opened the car door and yelled at him, "move it along buddy, we don't need that here!" As I did, I sensed a presence rushing toward me. It was a grey haired man with a big red face striding toward me aggressively while the dog dropped a steaming loaf exactly one step outside the door. The leash in the man's hand gave me an inkling as to who his dance partner was.

So, I wait to see what he's going to do. Nobody was as shocked as I when he strode on by. I must have caught some attitude from Buffalo today because I shouted after him, "Hey! Are you not gonna pick that up!?! Cause I'm really not looking forward to standing in that tomorrow!"

I know you'll be as surprised as I was to learn that he didn't respond to my question. He didn't look back. His stride broke only slightly as he quickened his pace. I hope his ears are still ringing with the last word I lobbed at him as he sped off into the distance.

Asshole.

Alien vs Predator

Every night this week as I was drifting off to sleep, I made lists of the things I would blog about when I had the time. So, here I am with the time and no memory of what those things were.

I think I've reached a new developmental stage. One that has to do with a predator called age stealing my once incredibly good memory out from under me, bit by bit.

Either that, or aliens are studying the blogging habits of 30-something women and need to permanently remove all ideas in order to understand the process. Which could explain why I can no longer find my keys or remember where I left my mobile phone. I also seem to have lost the ability to recall words that have been part of my vocabularly since I was one, as well as the skill of saying them without stuttering.

In fact, it might also shed some light on why I don't appear to have a knuckle on the joint of my thumb which is closest to my wrist. There's a lump there that appears quite joint-like. It just doesn't move the way a hinge joint should. Of course, this has been a life long thing - maybe the aliens have been studying me since birth.

Or....what if they planted me here in the first place? That would explain an awful lot. All that stuff people keep telling me about my being so unique and different would suddenly make a lot of sense. So would that birthmark on the bottom of my foot. And the dents in my skull...

At any rate, if you know where I left all my good ideas, be you alien, predator or friend, I'd appreciate having them back.

May the force be with you. Live long and prosper. Nanoo Nanoo.