For The Record...

when I suggest we take advantage of having one child away for the day and go do something with the other; walking the three miles to the beach or walking the three miles to the park to go for a walk does not exactly make me tingle with delight.

I know I need to exercise more but you are not motivating anyone with your passive aggressive attempts to force my hand. Legs. Whatever.

And no, I don't feel better now that we've done it. I probably would, but I'm too damned resentful.

That is all.

Shopping as it Should Be

As with many small villages, the local shop is the hub of our little community. If you pay attention, every day you'll see business deals being made and broken; affairs of the heart beginning and ending and have a chance to throw a vague nod in the general direction of the local movie star who you never quite recognize because he always looks like he just rolled out of bed. Due to the limited size of the place, there is also the blink and you'll miss it element to actually finding what you want to buy, so it's critically important that you move slowly. If you get behind someone in an aisle, store (community) etiquette (space restriction) demands that you stay behind them until you reach the end where there is a bit more space to manoeuver around them.

Monday morning I went to said store to get a few things. I generally do most of my shopping online and have it delivered, but I end up at the shop most days to pick up essentials like bread and milk and the occasional bottle of wine. This particular morning saw me needing a good few things as the online shopping centre had a malfunction on the weekend and I didn't end up getting my delivery until Monday evening.

Now for those of you who aren't Irish, Sunday is a big drinking day here... when I entered the store, I found myself following a man just a little older than my good self. He was a rather attractive fellow with expensive casual clothes and a well groomed salt and peppery beard.

I was just thanking the universe that I wasn't caught behind Mad Mary who is not only crazy but also has the worst body odour ever, when Mister BT2 let rip this almighty fart. I paused to see how polite society deals with such a thing, but apparently they just pretend it hasn't happened. So Mister Usedtobeattractive stopped to consider which loaf of overpriced bread to buy, which meant that I was stuck standing behind him. Not a bad view, really; all things considered.

And then it hit. Now, if you've ever smelled a Guinness fart, you'll know immediately what I am talking about. If you haven't, count your blessings. It's somewhere in the range of boiled eggs and rotten garbage with a little pulp factory thrown in for good measure. And, trust me on this one, a Guinness fart doesn't linger; it sets up house.

It was at this moment that I decided to breach protocol. I scooted out into the oncoming lane and got around him. As I passed he looked at me as if I was the rudest creature on the planet, so I shrugged and said, "Dude, you couldn't possibly expect anyone to stand in that" And off I went.

Once out of the range of yer man's personal pong, I dried the tears from my eyes then, meandered around watching for what might happen next and making up what I couldn't manage to piece together. I managed to drop the requisite thirty euro and even got the few bits and pieces that I went there for in the first place.

12:12

Once upon a time I was a residential care worker in a facility for disturbed youth. I was very young and very serious; determined to do well in a place that ate staff up and spit them out.

At the time, I had been working there for about a year, long enough to be considered senior staff, but not quite long enough to be promoted to management. We worked in partners, one male, one female for the most part, with a floating third person on the shift. The organization was having a growth spurt which meant that all of my good partners were being promoted and moved laterally faster than I could keep up with the changes. The bad ones were dropping like flies as well. I started to worry about my deodorant.

And then came Bruce. Bruce was stability incarnate. He was experienced in the field, happily married and an all around stand up guy. Best of all, Bruce had a sense of humour.

As with all group living situations, the client group was mirroring the staff group. The crazier things got with the restructure, the crazier the kids got. And that my friends, was not a pretty thing.

One night, very early on in our partnership, Bruce confessed to me that he thought that a lot of the behaviours we were dealing with could be avoided by utilizing the simple but effective frontal lobotomy. I agreed to try it but only if I were allowed to perform the procedure myself - with a spoon. We laughed maniacally and then noted the time. It was twelve twelve. We agreed that at lunch the next day, we would launch a mass lobotomizing session.

Sure enough, the next day was as torturous as the last. Lunch was served at twelve sharp. Soup and sandwiches were on the menu. At exactly twelve twelve, I gripped my spoon and turned to face Bruce. He raised his spoon in salute. Our relationship was cemented.

Bruce only lasted eight shifts in that hell hole but every time I see a clock that says 12:12, I am reminded of him. So I guess it's not surprising that today, at 12:12, as I was being offered the job at Internationally Known Charity I thought of Bruce.

Wuh_freakin_hoo! I start on the second of May! Thanks to all who crossed something on my behalf - your work here is done.

Yoda Speaks

If my life was a movie, you'd have turned it off by now! Who goes through this kinda suspense without being paid guild rates. Fuckin hell!

Anyway, the bad news is that there has been a delay in getting one of my references. If you've ever worked for a government you won't be surprised to learn that my line manager is unable to give a reference independently. Not only must he do it in writing; it must be approved by a senior manager (read legal department) before it goes out. And they wonder why they can't get anything done around there!


The good news is that the two they did manage to get were very good. Evidently, my boss from home wants me back - Thanks Lynn! You know that if we come home, you are the first person I am going to call. Actually, I'm gonna call you long before I get there, but I digress.


Bottom line is, I'm still in the running. Posted, I will keep you!

Cliffhanger

I received a message on my phone last evening. It was the HR manager of Internationally Known Charity calling to say she'd been unable to reach my third referee and therefore wouldn't be able to make a decision about whether I'll be hired until Tuesday at the earliest.

I'd be stressed out and upset, but I can't help but think this means I'm still in the running.

In other news, Galway was a great time! LOVED it! Especially our day trip to Inis Mor where were got sunburns while sitting in a beer garden drinking Guinness and watching our kids play happily on the beach below.

Into the Wesht

So, the second interview was had. The references were requested. The appropriate people have been given the ole heads up. Evidently, I have one competitor; while I can't imagine anyone being a better match than me, I am soooooooo not counting my chickens. Having said that, I'd love it if someone took it upon themselves to do me a favour and Tonya Harding'd her ass! They promised to put me out of my misery by Thursday.

In what I had hoped would be a celebration and now appears to be a distraction, we're going to Galway for a few days. We've never been and are looking forward to not only the break, but also the bohemia we're promised exists there. All tips of the touristy persuasion will be gratefully accepted.


P.S. We've done Clare and Bunratty and are hoping to focus on the Arran Islands and Galway itself...

All Hail...

the hail?

This is the first time I can honestly say that I am sick to death of Irish weather. I dunno if that's due to assimilation, global warming or what the fuck, but I am some tired of experiencing "all four seasons in a day". Pick one, goddammit! Today it was sunny, snowy and it hailed like mad. Only not long enough for a decent picture.

I'm not having the best of weekends to tell you the truth. Friday night was my leaving do from my last job. One of the women decided it was a good idea to leave her partner and two kids at home and have her ex-boyfriend from fifteen years ago come along and stick his hand up her dress. I disagreed. Not the best way to leave things with a coworker...

Then yesterday, the one who threw herself in front of a train decided that it was high time we spent some time together and showed up at my front door. She was discharged from hospital last week, a mere five weeks after crushing her pelvis, breaking her hip, collarbone and several ribs, having a finger amputated and puncturing a lung. Hubby ran her off the first time, but she was not to be deterred and came back. From what I could gather, she wanted me to support her bid to take her child halfway around the world to live. I don't fucking think so.

In the meantime, pregnantgirl's mom rang me from the states to say that prego wasn't answering the phone and she was worried and could I do something, so I got to spend the whole day making sure, she wasn't chucking herself in front of a train... fucksake!

So far, today has been much better... I went for a swim with a sane friend and the kids and then girlchild and I went shopping for the afternoon while hubby and the boy hung out at home. We met them at the pub for dinner and the match(I think ManU beat Arsenal but I really don't care).

In other news, cross something, pray, or do whatever it is that you do to send positive energy to someone who has a second interview for a job, cause tomorrow at 4:15gmt, I am meeting with the CEO of Internationally Known Charity to discuss the possibility of us having a future together.

I could really use a break right about now.

I've Still Got It!

Yesterday, the girl was invited to Disney on Ice with her two best friends. As a consolation prize (read: because we're trying to ruin his social life completely) we took the boy for dinner at our local pub.

After we ate, I excused myself and went to the loo where, among other things, I repaired my lipstick and checked my teeth to ensure I wasn't carrying any leftovers. On my way back, a stunningly fit young man held the door for me. When I got back to the table, I commented that it was both unusual and appreciated.

The boy waited a beat and then said, "Well Mam, you've still got a little magic left in ya!"

Change is Afoot

I seem to have misplaced something... my sense of self. I have lost all track of who the hell I am. I don't know when, how or why it's happened, all I know is that I have woken up to the fact that it did. Now I have to come to terms with that and make the necessary changes.

I have spent most of my life not living up to my potential. Classic underachiever; there are several holes in my proverbial foot. I tend to go blank right before the trigger is pulled. I'm very good at the post mortem. I can come up with all sorts of reasons why I didn't want to do that anyway. How's that for being a control freak - post event control grabber. Heh, maybe I should consider a career spinning for politicians.

There are three jobs that are mine for the winning this week. Here's to being articulate enough to say what I need to get across and controlled enough to not blurt!