Y'know...

if I'd been born on this side of the pond, it'd be my birthday right.... NOW.

39 - Yay, me... who'da thunk it?

The Saga Continues...

You may recall that I posted not so very long ago about a woman that we care about who was, in my opinion, neglecting her beautiful baby girl. Apparently, in the parenting world, this behaviour is also known as "teaching the baby to self-soothe". Regardless of what side of the pick the baby up fence you are sitting on, I'd bet money that you would not, could not, let a weeks old baby scream until she was hoarse.

Anyway, it seems our proud mama has decided to return home as the baby's daddy evidently has no intention of coming home from the other end of the earth to play happy families. I'm not even going to talk about the circumstances under which this baby was conceived in the year 2005; let's just say that there are some Nigerian scammers who could make a whole lotta money outta this girl!

OH fuckit, yes I am. She came over here from the States to avoid paying her debts and bag herself an Irish husband. She managed to find a fuck-buddy - a drunken construction worker from "down the country" and decided she'd make him mind. He had other ideas. So she stalked his ass until he gave in a little. Then she had unprotected sex at her most fertile period, which she was TRACKING...

And he ran, he ran so far away...

But, he promised to send money. And he promised, and promised. And he was going to be home for the baby's birth; then her christening; then for his brother's wedding but he'd see the baby then. And if she'd send him the receipts for the pram (stroller) and the cot(crib) he'd send money. But he had to change jobs. And then his former boss was trying to screw him by reporting him to the immigration authorities. And he had no passport. And he had no money. And on and on it went. She grasped at every straw he offered only to be raging when the promised money, visit, love; failed to materialize.

So she played her trump card. She stalked his siblings and rang a couple of them, offering to let them meet their brother's gorgeous baby daughter (and she is a stunner, make no mistake). This was met with a brick wall of resistance. No, they didn't have any interest in having a relationship with their niece and no offence, but, cut your losses and forget about him. That's what they're all trying to do. And for the love of God, please don't tell Mammy - her heart's already broken over him.

Time for Plan B. Go home to Mama. Work full time by day and go to grad school by night while Mama, Auntie and Cousin take turns raising the baby. Join the FBI as a profiler specializing in serial killers. Live happily ever after. Someone has been watching too much CSI while on maternity leave, methinks.

What am I doing about it? Why, I'm planning a surprise Bon Voyage party, of course! Not gonna lie to ya, there is some relief in knowing that my career as the "Voice of Reason" will soon be over.

Tomorrow....

will be Monday. I will be getting an early train into town. It will be packed and I won't get a seat. Not only is that not a happy thing; I will have to suffer the outrageous fortune of having a nose that works.

Guinness farts are not nice on a Monday morning. Please adjust your lifestyle accordingly.

Thank you - The Management.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Since, for whatever reason, I am totally blocked in terms of coming up with something to write about, I decided that over the weekend I would update my link list. I figured that this was a relatively easy task, especially since I've done it more than once successfully.

Apparently, even this was too difficult a chore for me this week. I hereby declare this attempt number two at deleting those who don't amuse me and adding a couple who do. I'm delighted to have Greg that Cowboy who's all jumbled (or whatever) back after his bloggery hiatus.

Why...

must I be surrounded by frickin idiots??

Just askin, really ;)

And by surrounded, I don't mean you. And by idiots, I don't mean you neither.

I've seriously made a mess of this, haven't I?

Makes one wonder if not posting isn't better than posting total crap. I suppose I'll leave that up to your fine selves...

How will I know?