Welcome Aboard...

and let me show you to your very own cubicle! Here is your key card, also known as a fob; you must swipe it to enter all rooms except the bathroom. Big Brother is watching your every move and Big Sister will be reading your emails. Welcome to mainstream corporate culture, please leave your personality at the door.

This is your apparently unlimited budget and here is your full time administrative assistant. You have access to company vehicles, IT assistance and a bloke who will carry your boxes and set up rooms to your specs; just email someone in advance and it will all happen like magic. Do not break your back or a nail. Your job is to think on higher levels.

Holy shit folks, I think I may have died and gone to that special place called adulthood. Everything's a trade-off isn't it? At this point, I'm thinking there is a big lesson here for me... when I figure out what it is, I'll letcha know!