Tools of the Trade

It's Friday and in my newly nine to five existence, that is a happy thing. Since I don't want to be Dooced, I'm not going to give you the gory details, but I will say it's been a long five days made longer by the fact that I am the building "snagger" and had to spend a lot of this week chasing builders around to ensure that they didn't run away.

The buildings I work at are new. We took possession in April, before construction was complete as the job was two years behind schedule at that point and speculation was that the guys were trying to get another summer out of it as they'd gotten such great tans the previous three summers.

Now, I don't have an awful lot of experience in construction, but Irish building is a law unto itself. Shoddy doesn't cover it. Criminal comes close.

I expect a huge part of the explanation lies with the boom in construction in Ireland. There are more jobs than there are people to do them. Every guy with any skill has discovered that he can make millions as a contractor. He then promptly bites off more than he can chew and has to hire help. Since all the skilled folks are already contracting for themselves, he ends up with fourteen year old boys and the odd cowboy whose plaster work is more surfable than the Irish sea ever hopes to be.

So, they slap something together and run to the next job. Then, when it falls apart, they blame the architect (or each other, depending on what the problem is) and I get to spend several days per week talking on the phone to their secretarieslashwives. The thing is, I don't really care what the problem is, or who caused it. I just want it fixed. Reasonably quickly.

But while we're on the subject of laying blame, Mr. Heating Man; here's a lil intelligence for you. When you install the thermostat for a room in a cupboard, say in, oh... a completely different room, it will take the ambient temperature OF THE CUPBOARD. That IS your problem. Nothing to do with the architect, the electrician, the boiler man, the joiner or the disgruntled labourer who was reported for setting fireworks off on the site six months ago. Nor is it the work of the wee fairies or the ghosts of the folk who were disturbed when their ancient burial ground was disturbed by this building. This one is your fault. Just move the damn thing already.

I have to cut this post short as the Irish Builders Association has just offered me a position as a heating and airconditioning consultant. Amazing where a little common sense can get you in times like these!