Late Breaking News

I started this post to tell you that I got my results and I'm now a qualified massage therapist. I'm happy about it, but can't really find a way to talk about it much. I don't know if the fact that it took them so freaking long to get the results to us (my last exam was on the 22 of July) has led to it feeling surreal or anticlimactic in some way or if there are other things that I'd really rather spew right now.

I've been meaning to write more stories about the trip home. There were some great times, and as always with my mother, some seriously shitty moments... at least she's consistent.

Her oh-so predictable attack on me was actually funny. That she tried to recruit my seven year old daughter to play her fucking head game was completely off side. But I feel pretty stuck about this one. If I confront her, she'll go directly into victim mode. If I don't, she'll continue to try to use my child as a pawn in her bid to control my life. Right now, I too am playing my old predictable hand - call it "taking space", "time out", "disengaging", the core of it is that I'm plain ole not speaking to her.

We were sitting in a restaurant having breakfast when she dropped the ball by telling our girl not to forget what Nanny told her. Naturally, I wanted to know what that was. Our girl said that she'd been told that when we got back to Ireland she was to tell Mummy that she needed to move home to Canada.

One look at my mother's face told me that our girl was neither confused nor exaggerating. I said quietly, "That's so unfair".

Her response was a dismissive, "she'll forget about it".

Then we all went outside and had family pictures, hugs and kisses.

No wonder my guts are such a fucking mess!