Deepthroat

So, today I willed a taxi through the insane Dublin traffic to get me to the hospital on time for my much waited appointment in the endoscopy suite. It worked. I'm pretty sure I wish it hadn't.

When I arrived, I discovered that I was meant to arrange for someone to pick me up. Hubby had worked a night shift and so was out of commission. I rang around a bit and wasn't able to get anyone but since I was going home by taxi, I didn't panic. Perhaps I should have.

When they finally got around to me (no snide comments about cups of tea, the place was packed) I discovered that without a personal escort from the suite to the taxi rank, they were unable to sedate me for the procedure. Damn. I love good drugs!

I was assured that the procedure would only take a few minutes and the guy on duty today was a genius and I should go ahead. As I'm highly suggestible, I did.

They sent me off to change my top for a gown; while I was there I decided to meditate a little. By the time they had me hooked up to the monitors, my heart rate was 54 beats per minute. I was in the zone!

Then they gave me some gawd awful spray to freeze my throat (read: kick off the gagging) and a hard plastic circle to protect my teeth (read: lock my jaw in the open position). And then they shoved a camera on a cable down my throat and into my stomach. I left the zone and commenced wretching and crying. Through it all, I did not struggle which makes me think either I'm really thick or I must have known on some level that I really needed this. A few minutes and three biopsies later I was upright.

The doctor that did the procedure explained to me that the lining of my stomach is inflamed and I have a hernia. What the biopsies are supposed to tell him is whether those things are causing my symptoms or whether they are symptoms of a bigger problem.

I came home and googled it all - as you do - but didn't find anything conclusive (I know, I was shocked too). I see the consultant again in four weeks... hopefully, I'll manage to blog something a little more entertaining between now and then!